


Shiro didn't ask for this many children

by thegayscanwrite



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bisexual Allura (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Gay, Gay Adam (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gay Shiro (Voltron), Group chat, Humor, Lance is whipped, Leith - Freeform, Lesbian Pidge, Lesbian Romelle (Voltron), M/M, Memes, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Space family, Swearing, Texting, Vines, apartment buddies!, college klance, klance, mcdonalds, nobody likes professor slav, pidge can hack shit, pidge is actually a disaster, text fic, the holts are meme bros, they adopted lance into the meme squad, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:01:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22397494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegayscanwrite/pseuds/thegayscanwrite
Summary: A chat fic that is literally just gonna be them messing around. oh and college cause that's important.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Allura/Romelle (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron), Matt Holt/Hunk, Pidge | Katie Holt/Shay
Comments: 4
Kudos: 101





	1. Medium Fries

**Author's Note:**

> wowowoo chat fic bitches
> 
> Lance = LanceyLance, Disaster Bi,  
> Keith = Kogayne,  
> Shiro = Takashi Shirogane, Space Dad,  
> Hunk = Hunky,  
> Pidge = Pidgeon, smol, Space Gremlin,  
> Allura = Queen,

**3:38pm**  
_LanceyLance created a chat.  
LanceyLance added Kogayne, Hunky, Pidgeon, Queen, Takashi Shirogane,  
LanceyLance renamed chat to Space Family ___

__Queen: owo what’s this?  
LanceyLance: Space Family!  
Pidgeon: fuck, wish I was in space rn  
Hunky: dude same  
Hunky: Professor Slav is a nutjob and I really wish I didn’t take his engineering class  
Pidgeon: oh my god, did you actually take that?  
Hunky: I need the class for my degree  
Pidgeon: dude there’s other engineering classes  
Pidgeon: I’m in Kolivan’s  
Hunky: I tried but they said his class was full so I’d have to take Slav’s if I wanted to do one  
LanceyLance: ew science  
Pidgeon: ha don’t lie bitch  
Pidgeon: we all know about your astronomy degree  
LanceyLance: shusshhhhhh  
LanceyLance: no science  
LanceyLance: bad  
Takashi Shirogane: actually science is an integral part of this society and without it we wouldn’t be able to advance our society.  
Kogayne: I agree with Lance  
Kogayne: ew science  
Kogayne: and ew society  
Pidgeon: rt  
Hunky: rt  
LanceyLance: rt_ _

__

__**6:23pm**  
Pidgeon: So NASA has shit firewalls.  
Takashi Shirogane: what.  
Pidgeon: haha nevermind  
Pidgeon: on other topics, Slav am I right?  
Takashi Shirogane: I know you’re changing the subject right now but I’d rather not know what you meant by the first text.  
Takashi Shirogane: Plus I need to rant about Slav  
Takashi Shirogane: He literally looked at my socks today and started screaming shit about how I’d chosen the wrong colour and wrecked the space time continuum.  
Takashi Shirogane: HOW  
Takashi Shirogane: THEY’RE FUCKING SOCKS  
Hunky: feels bad man  
LanceyLance: oooo dad said a bad word  
Pidgeon: dad what the fuck, swearing is bad  
Kogayne: dad why would you do this to us  
Takashi Shirogane: No.  
QueenPrincess: oh no, the dad voice has been activated  
_Pidgeon changed Takashi Shirogane’s name to Space Dad_  
Space Dad: Change it back.  
Pidgeon: Lol nope.  
Kogayne: It suits you  
Space Dad: thanks, I hate it.  
LanceyLance: gASP dad knows memes?  
_Space Dad left the chat___

____ _ _

____**3:12am**  
_LanceyLance added Space Dad to the chat_  
LanceyLance: GUYS  
LanceyLance: DOES ANYONE WANNA COME GET MCDONALDS  
Hunky: Lance, it’s 3am and I have morning classes tomorrow  
Hunky: today*  
LanceyLance: how come you’re awake  
Hunky: Slav made us write a 4000 word essay on alternate universes even though it has nothing to do with our class  
LanceyLance: understandable, have a nice day  
LanceyLance: anyone else?  
Kogayne: yes.  
Pidgeon: is that even a question  
LanceyLance: meet me by that big oak tree  
Kogayne: there’s like 20 different ‘big oak trees’ on campus  
LanceyLance: Iverson’s eye  
Kogayne: I will stab you  
LanceyLance: well you didn’t stab me…  
Pidgeon: one, I will find out what that means, two, where the fuck are you guys I’m already here  
LanceyLance: skrrt skrrt I’m almost here  
Pidgeon: are you the one who’s fucking just nyooming across campus in a hippo onesie  
Kogayne: no that’s me.  
Pidgeon: oh my god  
LanceyLance: wow_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**Disaster Bi > smol**  
Disaster Bi: holy fuck he’s so cute what  
smol: oh my god  
smol: dude he’s in a hippo onesie  
Disaster Bi: it’s fucking adorable ok, don’t @ me  
smol: I swear to god…  
smol: oh wait that’s me_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**4:16am**  
**LanceyLance > Space Family**  
LanceyLance: guys pidge can fit a medium thing of fries in her mouth at once  
Hunky: Pidge what.  
Kogayne: she can’t do it without choking though.  
Space dad: PIDGE WHAT  
LanceyLance: we’re at the hospital now, she’s ok though  
Queen: why did you go to the hospital?  
LanceyLance: bits of fry went into her lungs, so they had to use some suction tube to get it out.  
Space Dad: I’m coming to the hospital now. Where abouts are you guys?  
LanceyLance: the emergency wing, don’t you have classes this morning though?  
Space Dad: one of my children is in hospital, I can skip my classes today.  
Space Dad: does anyone want a ride to the hospital?  
Hunky: Allura and I are out front already.  
Space Dad: I’m coming now  
LanceyLance: Matt wants a ride too.  
Space Dad: Tell him to meet us out front_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**2:15pm**  
Pidgeon: so that was a wild ride  
LanceyLance: Pidge you scared us you gremlin  
_Pidgeon changed their name to Space Gremlin __  
Kogayne: why  
Space Gremlin: you have to earn your space family name  
Kogayne: you choked on a packet of fries and went to hospital  
Kogayne: Shiro’s eye has been twitching the entire day  
Kogayne: I think you broke him  
Space Gremlin: my point exactly  
Kogayne: jesus christ___ _ _


	2. 3am screaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehhhe matt and adam are here and the gang decide to become cryptids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance = LanceyLance, toll,  
> Keith = Kogayne,  
> Shiro = Space Dad,  
> Hunk = Hunky, Hunkalicious  
> Pidge = Space Gremlin, smol, Baby Pidgeon  
> Allura = Queen, Space Queen  
> Matt = MATTematics, Space Ratt  
> Adam = aDAMN

**9:32pm**  
LanceyLance: physics can suck my dick  
Hunky: why do you even take that class?  
LanceyLance: astronomy  
Hunky: oof  
Hunky: do you want me to come help  
LanceyLance: YES THANK YOU  
LanceyLance: I LOVE YOU BRO  
Hunky: I LOVE YOU TOO BRO  
LanceyLance: BRO YOU ARE THE BEST <3  
Hunky: BRO <3  
LanceyLance: BRO <3  
Space Gremlin: tf guys

**11:23pm**  
Hunky: guys Lance kinda broke  
Space Dad: please don’t tell me more hospital trips  
Hunky: uhh I don’t think so  
Hunky: he’s kinda just facedown on the ground screaming  
Kogayne: I’ll join  
Hunky: wait what?  
Space Gremlin: sounds fun, im down  
Queen: I’m coming  
Hunky: guys! This wasn’t an invitation to scream with Lance! How do I fix him?  
Space Dad: bribe him?  
Hunky: oh god someones knocking on the door, I don’t want to open it  
Hunky: fuck pidge just kicked down the door and her, Keith and Allura just kinda joined Lance  
Space Dad: ha no thanks not dealing with this  
Hunky: dad! Don’t leave me!  
Space Dad: just leave them  
Hunky: yes I got dad’s permission to leave  
Hunky: jokes on you guys

**2:13pm**  
LanceyLance: guys that was lit, thank you  
Kogayne: it was relaxing ngl  
Space Gremlin: I’m down to do that again  
Queen: this needs to become a regular thing  
Queen: as in at least once a week  
LanceyLance: hell yeah  
LanceyLance: we could face masks and beauty shit  
Kogayne: fuck you im already beautiful  
Queen: Keith I’ll paint your nails  
Kogayne: nevermind I’m down  
LanceyLance: the way to Keith’s heart is painting his nails  
Space Gremlin: taking notes huh Lance  
LanceyLance: hhhhhhhhhh  
Kogayne: what?  
LanceyLance: hahhahah  
LanceyLance: nothing.  
Kogayne: ok then…

 **Toll > Smoll**  
Toll: PIDGE  
Smoll: what?  
Toll: DON’T

 **LanceyLance > Space Family**  
LanceyLance: aNYWAY  
LanceyLance: when do we want to do screaming and beauty shit  
Space Gremlin: the screaming in the cemetery at 3am  
Space Gremlin: and beauty shit afterwards at Lance’s apartment so he doesn’t have to buy a suitcase to carry said beauty shit  
Hunky: I’m curious, why the cemetery at 3am?  
Space Gremlin: 1, so we don’t get yelled at by the others in the apartment building, 2, so we can become some local legend thing  
Kogayne: we could become cryptids!  
Space Gremlin: fuck yeah  
LanceyLance: I’m down, how about tuesdays?  
Kogayne: that’s good for me  
Queen: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
Space Gremlin: Project Scream + Beauty Shit is a go  
Space Gremlin: Hunk, dad, you down?  
Hunky: uhh I won’t do the screaming, but I’m down for beauty shit  
Space dad: same here  
Space Gremlin: FUCK YEAH SPACE FAMILY BONDING

**2:30am (Tuesday)**  
LanceyLance: guyssss when are we meeting  
Space Gremlin: come to the cemetery now  
LanceyLance: wowowo imma sprint  
Queen: bitch don’t fool yourself you won’t be able to even jog the whole way  
LanceyLance: bitch  
Queen: bitch <3  
LanceyLance: bitch <3  
Kogayne: hurry tf up assholes  
Space Gremlin: we need to start screaming at exactly 3am  
LanceyLance: we’re running jeez  
Kogayne: how can you run and type?  
Queen: he’s magic and I’m an alien  
Space Gremlin: jesus just hurry up

**3:00am**  
Hunky: I swear to god guys I can hear you  
Space Dad: same here, Matt asked what it was and he and Adam haven’t stopped laughing since  
Space Dad: he’s gonna fucking pass out  
Hunky: hhhhhhhhh dad said a bad word  
Hunky: also who’s Matt and Adam  
Space Dad: Matt is Pidge’s brother and Adam is one of our friends  
Space Dad: BITCHDEHE HE’S LYINGS FUCK SHITO GHO AWETAY  
Space Dad: SHITO IIS MEDJGA GAY FOWR ADAMNNNNN  
Hunky: oooooo dad’s in love  
Space Dad: ignore Matt, he’s a bitch  
Hunky: I don’t know, he sounds like he knows what he’s talking about…  
Space Dad: no.  
Hunky: are you bringing Matt and Adam for the beauty shit cause they are welcome  
Space Dad: I’ll ask  
Space Dad: Adam told me I was dumb for phrasing that as a question and Matt just started squealing.  
Hunky: I’m assuming that’s a yes

**3:58am**  
Space Dad: I can’t believe they’re still screaming  
Hunky: I can  
Hunky: Lance has an impressive pair of lungs

**4:20am**  
Hunky: oh my god finally  
LanceyLance: do you like the time we stopped at? ;)  
Hunky: I’m just glad you stopped  
LanceyLance: rUDE  
Queen: gASp  
Space Dad: do we go to Lance’s now?  
Space Gremlin: we’re heading over there now  
Space Dad: oh by the way Adam and Matt are coming and Adam surprisingly has all these face masks and other cream shit  
Space Gremlin: fuck not the ratt  
Queen: Ahhh I can’t wait to see that bitch Adam again the fucking hoe  
LanceyLance: gASP A FELLOW FACE MASK DUDE  
Hunky: oh my god just hurry up I’m at your apartment now

 **4:39am**  
Hunk tapped his foot impatiently as he leaned against the wall waiting for the others to arrive. Soon loud laughter echoed up the stairwell and Shiro appeared, followed by two people he didn’t recognise. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. One of the guys looked very similar to Hunk’s favourite gremlin. However, while Pidge was a short adorable bean (don’t tell her that though or she will break your legs) this guy was hot. He had piercing eyes and a sharp jaw with a small scar across his cheek. His face glowed and the smile across it absolutely blinded Hunk and caused his brain to lose any ability to function. 

Shiro waved in front of Hunk’s face a couple times before Hunk snapped back into reality. “Hey Hunk, you ok?”  
“Yeah I just zoned out sorry.”  
“This is Adam,” Shiro said gesturing towards a Latino man with glasses, “And this is Matt, he’s Pidge’s brother.” Shiro gestured to the man who was causing Hunk to short circuit.  
“Uh hi, I’m Hunk.” Hunk waved a little.  
Matt stepped forward, “Dude! You’re one of Pidgeotto’s best friends, right? Wait was it you who made those fucking amazing brownies.”  
Hunk smiled, “Yeah that’s me. The others should be here soon, they’re just coming back from the graveyard.”  
Shiro frowned, “Didn’t they say that 20 minutes ago?”  
Hunk slumped against the wall, “I’ve been waiting here for about 15. The old lady down the hall keeps giving me funny looks and I think she threatened to call the police in Spanish?”  
They started laughing and Adam spoke, “Dude that sucks. That bitch Allura better hurry tf up.”  
“I take it from that you know each other?”  
“Yeah, we’ve been friends since we were 8 but she moved to England when she turned 13 and when she came back I was doing an exchange in Europe so I haven’t seen her since she came on holiday here and that was about 4 years ago. We talk on FaceTime a lot though. I fucking miss h-“  
A scream of “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU LANCE, YOU DUMB SHIT” echoed up the stairwell.  
Shiro sighed, “Sounds like they’re here.”

Soon terrified looking Lance appeared from the stairwell and raced behind Hunk. “Hunk, bro, my dude, you have to protect me! Keith’s gonna kill me! He actually has his knives!”  
“What did you do?” Hunk asked, only to have his question answered by a sopping wet Keith sprinting towards them. “Oh fuck. I’m sorry buddy, but you’re on your own for this one.” Lance screamed and ran down the hall.

**5:11am**  
They were all seated in a circle on the floor. Allura was painting Keith’s nails as promised _(“Can you paint them black?” “Ha you fucking emo.”),_ and Keith was now dry and wearing some of Lance’s clothes _(“Do something like that again and I’ll tip all your beauty shit down the sink”),_ Lance seemed to have permanently red cheeks from seeing Keith drowning in one of his shirts _(“How the fuck is this so big?” “You’re just short.” “Lance, I still have my knives. Plural.”),_ Keith was hiding his blush with the facemask he had slapped on messily, much to Lance’s horror _(“Keith! What the fuck are you doing!” “Putting on a facemask?” “Oh my god, you’re terrible at this. Let me for you.”)._ Pidge and Hunk had been whispering “gay” to each other the entire night and Adam was currently doing Shiro’s eyeliner which caused Matt to join in on Hunk and Pidge’s “gay whispers”. At one point Matt got quite close to Hunk’s face causing him to shut down again. Once he went over to talk to Allura, Hunk whipped out his phone and gestured for Pidge to do the same. She gave him a confused look but obliged.

**Hunkalicious > Baby Pidgeon**  
Hunkalicious: PIDGE  
Baby Pidgeon: WHAT  
Hunkalicious: pAN PANIC  
Baby Pidgeon: WHAT WHO?  
Hunkalicious: MATT  
Hunkalicious: WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HE WAS SO HOT  
Baby Pidgeon: EW THE RATT  
Hunkalicious: I’M DYING HERE PIDGE  
Baby Pidgeon: SUFFER  
Baby Pidgeon: IT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR LIKING THE RATT  
Hunkalicious: PIDGE PLEASE  
Hunkalicious: PIDGE 

**9:07am**  
**LanceyLance > Space Family**  
_LanceyLance: added MATTematics and aDAMN to the chat_  
LanceyLance: THAT WAS LITTTTT  
LanceyLance: are we doing this next week?  
MATTematics: yes but only if Allura paints my nails with the vine symbol  
Queen: fine. But I won’t enjoy it. And I’ll make it pink to mess with the authenticity.  
MATTematics: HA THE QUEEN FINALLY CAVED  
_Space Gremlin changed Queen’s name to Space Queen_  
_Space Gremlin changed MATTematics name to Space Ratt_  
Space Ratt: I am no rat!  
Space Gremlin: true. You’re a SPACE rat.  
Space Queen: HA BOW DOWN BITCHES  
LanceyLance: this is seriously getting confusing with like four of you having names beginning with space  
Space Gremlin: true, but I am the only one who can change it so you’re just going to have to deal with it  
LanceyLance: aLSo how did Matt earn his name before the rest of us  
Space Gremlin: he’s been a rat his entire life, haven’t you ratt  
Space Ratt: now I’m a SPACE rat so jokes on you pidgeotto  
LanceyLance: HHHHHH PIDGEOTTO  
Space Gremlin: Lance. I will break your kneecaps if you call me that.  
LanceyLance: …  
LanceyLance: ….  
LanceyLance: ……pidgeotto  
Space Gremlin: FUCK THAT’S IT  
Space Ratt: HHHHH HOW DARE YOU USE SUCH A FUCKING BAD WORD PIDGEOTTO! MUM WILL FUCKING MURDER THE SHIT OUT OF YOU IF SHE FUCKING SEE’S THAT FUCKING WORD ON YOUR FUCKING SCREEN  
LanceyLance: OH FUCK SHE’S AT MY DDOPJVOF  
Queen: ha rip Lance  
Space Ratt: F in the chaubvubbr  
Space Gremlin: Today I Got Rid Of The Negativity In My Life  
Queen: Fucking godly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowo some Hunk perspective in there
> 
> comments and kudos are lit if you wanna drop one


	3. 420 BLAZE IT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ha Lance is dumb sometimes and Keith is terrifying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance = LanceyLance,  
> Keith = Kogayne,  
> Shiro = Space Dad,  
> Hunk = Hunky,  
> Pidge = Space Gremlin,  
> Allura = Space Queen  
> Matt = Space Ratt  
> Adam = aDAMN

**4:20pm**  
Space Ratt: 420 BLAZE IT  
Space Gremlin: you need to stop. where are your parents?  
Space Dad: stop memeing or I’ll ground you both  
Space Ratt: HHHHHHHHHHH DAD WHY  
LanceyLance: I’m calling the police  
Space Dad: no.

**4:35pm**  
LanceyLance: OH FUCK OH FUCK WHAT DO I DO  
Hunky: WHAT’S WRONG LANCE  
LanceyLance: I HAVE DONE A BIG OOF  
Kogayne: IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS IMMA DIE NOW  
aDAMN: WHY ARE WE YELLING  
Kogayne: HE ACTUALLY CALLED THE POLICE ON SHIRO FOR STOPPING THEM FROM MEMEING  
Hunky: LANCE WTF  
LanceyLance: I’M SCARED THEY’RE SENDING SOME WORKERS OVER TO FINE ME FOR PRANK CALLING  
LanceyLance: SHOULD I SHOW THEM THE GROUP CHAT SO I CAN SHOW IT WASN’T A PRANK  
Space Ratt: NO THEY’LL ARREST ME FOR WEED  
Space Gremlin: WAIT DID YOU ACTUALLY DO WEED  
Space Ratt: YES FUCK  
Space Gremlin: WHY DIDN’T YOU INVITE ME  
Space Dad: EVERYONE STOP YELLING  
LanceyLance: sorry dad.  
Space Dad: Lance you’re just going to have to pay the fine  
LanceyLance: but I’m scared dad!  
LanceyLance: and Keith is not helping right now  
LanceyLance: he won’t stop laughing and trying to bet how much the fine will be  
LanceyLance: I’m a broke college student, I can’t pay for this!  
LanceyLance: I didn’t even know there was a fee!  
Space Dad: just calm down and explain it to them that you had no idea there was a fee or that it was illegal to call them without a real reason  
Kogayne: …ha  
LanceyLance: KEITH DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE  
Kogayne: Lance literally just said “oh I knew it was illegal I just don’t want to pay for it”  
LanceyLance: Keeeeeeeeeeef  
LanceyLance: why the fuck would you expose me like this?  
LanceyLance: now dad’s gonna be mad  
Space Dad: I’m done. Pay the fucking fee I’m not helping.  
LanceyLance: Dad! I’m really sorry! I didn’t actually know there was a fee though!

**5:00pm**  
Kogayne: ha Lance made it worse  
Hunky: how?  
Kogayne: he panicked so hard he forgot how to speak English  
Hunky: how does that even happen?  
Kogayne: and the people came to his door and he opened it and you could literally see his face pale when he opened his mouth and all that came out was rapid Spanish. It was the funniest thing.  
Kogayne: I ended up having to translate/answer the questions for them.  
Kogayne: he got fined $150 I’m cackling  
LanceyLance: It wasn’t funny! They got so mad!  
Space Gremlin: please tell me you got that on video  
Kogayne: video.jpg  
Space Ratt: this is the funniest shit holy fuck  
LanceyLance: Imma go die now. See ya!  
Kogayne: dude I’m your guest. rUDE.  
LanceyLance: then go home  
Kogayne: no. I have no food and someone broke in the other day and I can’t afford to get the window fixed  
Hunky: Keith! Are you ok?  
Kogayne: I got scared and nearly stabbed them and they ran the fuck away  
Kogayne: so I’m fine but my window’s not  
Space Dad: can’t the apartment building pay for it?  
Kogayne: wait do they?  
Space Dad: oh my god Keith, you are so dumb sometimes  
Kogayne: I LIVED IN A SHACK IN THE DESERT FOR A YEAR CUT ME SOME SLACK  
LanceyLance: emos are too on the fringe to know normal life things  
Kogayne: I fucking heard you gasp when you read that the apartment building had to fix stuff  
Space Gremlin: ha exposed loser  
LanceyLance: hhhhhhhh I’m a good person  
Space Gremlin: how?  
LanceyLance: well I’m letting Keith stay with me aren’t I?  
Kogayne: wait you are?  
LanceyLance: (shhh pretend we already established this)  
Kogayne: (ha sorry)  
Kogayne: I mean… yeah he offered he’s a good person  
LanceyLance: tHANK YOU Keith  
Kogayne: (are you sure I can stay)  
LanceyLance: (yeah man I have a spare bedroom)  
Kogayne: (thank you so much)  
Space Gremlin: you do realise putting brackets around your texts don’t make them invisible right?  
LanceyLance: shhhh gremlin

**6:23pm**  
Space Queen: I go away for like 2 hours and the police are at Lance’s door, Keith’s apartment has been broken into, Keith almost stabbed someone, I’m pretty sure only Shiro and maybe Hunk knew you could get the apartment building to fix stuff, and Keith and Lance are now rooming until Keith moves back into his apartment?  
aDAMN: I’m so confused  
aDAMN: Shito said you were all honorary children but I didn’t think it was this bad  
aDAMN: how does a person almost stab someone  
Kogayne: I was in a lot of foster homes  
Kogayne: I ran away a lot so the only solution was to learn to use and throw knives  
aDAMN: dude I’m so sorry  
Kogayne: I have a mother now so all good  
LanceyLance: Krolia's a fucking beast  
LanceyLance: and coming to think of it he’s almost stabbed quite a few people actually  
Space Dad: What.  
Kogayne: he has no idea what he’s talking about  
LanceyLance: he has actually stabbed one person before…  
Kogayne: Lance don’t you fucking dare or that amount will become two  
Space Dad: Lance tell us.  
LanceyLance: huh  
LanceyLance: what was I even talking about before  
LanceyLance: I can’t even remember  
Space Gremlin: cOME ON  
Space Gremlin: Laaaance just tell us  
LanceyLance: tell you what…  
Space Gremlin: you coward  
LanceyLance: HE’S LITERALLY STAYING WITH ME AND CARRIES AT LEAST 2 KNIVES AND ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CONCEALED SWORDS WITH HIM AT ALL TIMES.  
LanceyLance: HE EVEN TAKES THEM TO SLEEP  
LanceyLance: IT’S SCARY  
Kogayne: fear me :)  
Space Queen: don’t worry bb we already do  
Kogayne: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wewoeowe did I mention this would be a chaotic crack fic
> 
> cause it really is


	4. Whipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhh Shay's here (yay) but she's sick (noo) wooooooooooo  
> SUP Y'ALL no no I haven't abandoned this fic cause it's a release for my crackhead energy. Anyway enjoy the chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance = LanceyLance,  
> Keith = Kogayne,  
> Shiro = Space Dad,  
> Hunk = Hunky,  
> Pidge = Space Gremlin,  
> Allura = Space Queen  
> Matt = Space Ratt  
> Adam = aDAMN

**9:32am**  
Baby Pidgeon > Hunkalicious  
Baby Pidgeon: Hunk! Where are you! I’m sitting by myself in the robotics thingggggg  
Hunkalicious: Shay threw up all over me so I’m helping her to the doctor  
Baby Pidgeon: Shay?  
Hunkalicious: a girl I work with, I had to help open the bakery this morning cause my mums had to meet a friend of theirs  
Baby Pidgeon: yikes, do you think you’ll make it or do you wanna share my notes  
Hunkalicious: imma need your notes, can we meet at Starbucks at like 4?  
Baby Pidgeon: sure sounds good

**4:14pm**  
Baby Pidgeon: YOOO HUNK WHERE YOU AT?  
Hunkalicious: IM STILL AT THE DOCTORS I WANT TO CRY  
Baby Pidgeon: HOW COME IT’S TAKING SO LONG  
Hunkalicious: SHAY’S MEGA SICK, CAN YOU BRING ME STARBUCKS AND THE NOTES AT THE BALMERA HOSPITAL  
Baby Pidgeon: SURE DUDE I’LL BE THERE SOON

Pidge walked up to room 129 where Hunk was sitting with Shay. She had been reassured that whatever Shay had wasn’t contagious but would put her in a lot of pain for a few days. She pushed open the door, “Sup fuckers, I brought Starbucks, our favourite overpriced drink chain store thing. Hunk gets a salted caramel latte, Shay I just grabbed you a, le gasp, iced golden ginger drink ‘cause ginger is supposed to help nausea. Oh and a gorgeous black coffee with 6 shots of expresso for the best gremlin in town. That’s me by the way.” Pidge took a bow and looked up to see Hunk staring at her disappointedly and oh my gosh is that Shay? Oh shit she’s gorgeous.  
“Six shots of expresso? How are you still alive?” Shay murmured with a small grin.  
“Ha my record is 14.” Pidge smiled back while Hunk groaned. “I have not prepared for this. I should have prepared.” He shook his head. “Give me the notes, I can already tell you don’t want to revise them.”  
“Aw Hunk you know me so well. I’m going to keep you and this lovely lady company though because I am so unbelievably bored. Did you know Lance decided to actually study? Like that’s fucking wack.”  
Hunk laughed. “I’m assuming physics then.”  
“Unfortunately. He keeps trying to bribe me into helping but jokes on him, I know he can’t live up to his end of the deal. I left Keith to help.”  
“Keith’s doing an art degree.”  
“Exactly.”  
Shay cleared her throat, “You don’t mean Keith as in Keith Kogane do you?”  
“Wait, you know the emo?”  
Shay smiled, “We do art together.”  
“OH MY GOD, SHE KNOWS THE EMO.” Pidge yelled. “OUR REPUTATION HAS BEEN TARNISHED.”  
“Keith’s really nice, don’t worry, your reputation is still intact.”  
Hunk turned to Pidge, “Did you notice the lack of the usual describing words in that sentence?”  
“You mean intimidating, scary, emo, socially inept, knife boi?”  
“She said nice.”  
“I’m so confused?”  
Shay laughed. “I know he has some weird knife kink, but he’s super nice.”  
“OH MY GOD KNIFE KINK.”

**6:23pm**  
Space Gremlin > Space Family  
Space Gremlin: sooo, knife kink huh emo boi?  
Kogayne: what?  
Space Gremlin: I met Shay (she’s gorgeous by the way)  
Kogayne: NO  
Kogayne: OH SHIT NO  
Kogayne: I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE A KNIFE KINK OML  
LanceyLance: that’s sounds like you’re being defensive there knife boi  
Kogayne: uGHHH I HATE THIS  
Kogayne: ok so we had to paint a picture of our “one true love” or some shit and since I STILL don’t have a boyfriend I thought it would be funny to just paint this rainbow fucking knife  
Space Ratt: ha gay  
Space Gremlin: fuck off ratt  
Space Ratt: :o  
Kogayne: and Shay comes right up behind me and whispers in my ear “that’s kinda kinky not gonna lie”  
Kogayne: so now she tells everyone I have a knife kink  
Space Ratt: LMAO  
Space Gremlin: THAT’S FUCKING LIT. I LOVE THIS GIRL. THAT’S IT I’M MARRYING HER.  
Space Ratt: OOOOO PIDGEY HAS A CRUSH  
Space Queen: OOOOOOOOO I’M HERE FOR THIS.  
Space Queen: NOT KEITH’S KNIFE KINK THOUGH CAUSE THAT’S NASTY  
Kogayne: IT’S NOT A KNIFE KINK  
LanceyLance: It’s definitely a knife kink  
LanceyLance: oooooooo gremlin has a crush  
Space Gremlin: commit ankle scooter  
LanceyLance: harsh pidgeon, harsh.

**8:39pm**  
LanceyLance: ok so what the fuck is up with ATM’s  
Kogayne: I am actually going to kill you  
Space Queen: what did you do?  
LanceyLance: so I shoved Keith’s card into the wrong slot and it snapped  
Kogayne: I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO REPLACE THIS SHIT  
LanceyLance: NEITHER DO I  
LanceyLance: IF YOU PAY FOR IT I’LL CONSIDER THIS YOUR RENT FOR THE MONTH  
Space Queen: wait… rent?  
Kogayne: oh yeah I’m like kinda permanently living with Lance now  
LanceyLance: I couldn’t afford the rent by myself and needed a roommate and since Keith was already here we became apartment buddies  
Space Queen: oh lit  
Space Gremlin: y’all are actual disasters

**Smoll > Toll**  
Smoll: aParTMeNT buDDiES  
Toll: I FUCKING KNOW  
Toll: HE’S ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL ME SOMEDAY AND NOT WITH HIS KNIVES  
Smoll: you sure it’s not with his knives?  
Toll: not entirely but..  
Toll: HE’S SO UNBELIEVEBLY ADORABLE AND ACTUALLY WEARS THE HIPPO ONESIE ALL THE TIME  
Toll: I CAME OUT INTO THE KITCHEN AND HE WAS SITTING AT THE BENCH AND HIS HAIR WAS STICKING OUT EVERYWHERE AND COVERING HIS EYES AND OH MY GOD HE AND DAVID BOWIE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN MAKE MULLETS LOOK GOOD  
Toll: AND HE JUST SLEEPILY SLID A COFFEE TO ME AND HE REMEBERED HOW I LIKED IT WITH THE TRIM MILK AND 4 SUGARS AND SHIT AND OH GOD I FUCKING DIED RIGHT THERE  
Toll: AND THEN HE TURNS TO ME AND GIVES ME THIS CUTE AS SLEEPY SMILE AND HIS VOICE IS ALL CROAKY AND HE SAYS GOOD MORNING AND THEN TURNS BACK TO HIS COFFEE AND IS STILL SMILING AND HIS HAIR WAS HANGING AROUND HIS FACE OML THIS BOY IS GOING TO KILL ME  
Smoll: oh damnnn  
Smoll: you’re whipped as fuck  
Toll: I really am so whipped what do I do  
Smoll: ask him out you pussy  
Toll: hmmm did I hear repress my feelings? I think I did. What a great idea! I’ll repress any lovey dovey feelings towards him! Yay problem solved!  
Smoll: I kinda hate you right now  
Smoll: fucking disaster bi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo Lance is fucking WHIPPED for Keith (i mean what's new?) and they living togetherrrrrr also yess shay is a gorgeous bean and loves dirty jokes and pidge has seen the light. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated (validate me daddy)


	5. Space Dad at 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance = LanceyLance  
> Keith = Kogayne  
> Shiro = Space Dad, Space Dad at 7,  
> Hunk = Hunky, Space Cinnamon Roll  
> Pidge = Space Gremlin, Hacked into NASA but still looks 12, The Ultimate Holt,  
> Allura = Space Queen, An Actual Goddess (literally though I'm not kidding), Space Vodka Aunt,  
> Matt = Space Ratt, Super Sexy Space Man, A fucking RATT,  
> Adam = aDAMN,

**9:02pm  
Space Queen > Space Family**  
Space Queen: yo so have you like never used an atm before?  
LanceyLance: umm  
LanceyLance: do you actually want me to answer that?  
Space Queen: fuck it where’s dad  
LanceyLance: DAD  
Space Queen: DAAAAD  
LanceyLance: DAD WHERE ARE YOU  
Space Gremlin: COME ON DAD WHERE YOU AT  
Space Ratt: DAD DAD DAD  
aDAMN: COME FOR US DADDY  
Kogayne: ADAM WHAT THE FUCK  
Kogayne: DAD COME PICK ME UP I’M SCARED  
Hunky: PLEASE PICK UP THE PHONE DAD WE MISS YOU  
Space Gremlin: keep calling for dad I’m changing Hunk’s name  
_Space Gremlin changed Hunky’s name to Space Cinnamon Roll_  
Space Gremlin: he’s too pure  
Space Cinnamon Roll: WOOO LEVEL UP  
Space Cinnamon Roll: DAD COME LOOK I LEVELLED UP  
Space Cinnamon Roll: ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?  
Space Dad: yes Hunk I am a proud father now  
Space Dad: only of you though, all my other children are failures and disappointments  
Space Gremlin: HEY WHAT THE FUCK DAD  
Space Ratt: YEAH DAD WHAT THE FUCK  
LanceyLance: YOU MADE ME SAD DAD. DON’T BE A BIG BAD MAD DAD.  
Kogayne: HEY DAD WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? I JUST WANTED TO BE PICKED UP.  
aDAMN: ha disappointments  
Space Queen: ok now that dad’s here lets address why we are all disappointments  
Space Queen: none of you know basic life skills  
LanceyLance: I’d argue with that but it’s true so ya know…  
Space Dad: ok I’m here for this conversation  
Space Queen: so what if the adults, Dad, Adam, me, and Hunk (he’s a child but he knows life skills), force you all to take life skill classes that we teach so you aren’t all incompetent adults  
Space Dad: oh god do we have to  
Space Queen: the children need to learn father.  
Space Dad: fine.  
Space Queen: WOOP WOOP DAD’S IN THAT MEANS YOU ALL ARE LEGALLY OBLIGED TO BE A PART OF THIS NOW  
Space Gremlin: well fuck  
LanceyLance: you guys honestly aren’t prepared for the amount of things I don’t know tbh  
Kogayne: I lived in a desert shack for a year and foster homes until I was 14 I only know survival skills  
Kogayne: not other life shit  
aDAMN: bold of you to assume I know any life skills  
Space Queen: you’re a fucking teacher Adam, can’t you teach?  
aDAMN: not life skills  
Space Queen: well well well I guess the teacher becomes the student  
aDAMN: bitch  
LanceyLance: well well well 3 holes in the ground  
Kogayne: why did I even laugh at that  
LanceyLance: cause you loooove me  
Kogayne: bold of you to assume I feel love

 **Lil bro > Big bro**  
Lil bro: Shiro I’m so fucking gay.  
Big bro: I know Keith, I know.

 **11:02pm**  
Space Ratt > Space Family  
Space Ratt: hehhe :)  
Space Ratt: guess what  
Space Gremlin: why does that scare me  
_Space Ratt changed their name to Super Sexy Space Man_  
Super Sexy Space Man: FUCK YOU PIDGEOTTO  
Space Gremlin: WAIT HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK  
Super Sexy Space Man: ENGINEERING DEGREE FUCKERS  
Super Sexy Space Man: PLUS ALL THE SPACE NAMES ARE FUCKING HARD TO READ IT’S CONFUSING AS FUCK  
Space Gremlin: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE CHANGE THEM  
Super Sexy Space Man: you’ll like them don’t worry  
_Super Sexy Space Man changed Space Dad’s name to Space Dad at 7  
Super Sexy Space Man changed Space Gremlin’s name to Hacked into NASA but still looks 12  
Super Sexy Space Man changed Space Queen’s name to An Actual Goddess (literally though I’m not kidding)_  
Super Sexy Space Man: WAIT IT’S NOT WORKING ANYMORE  
Super Sexy Space Man: LET ME HAVE MY GLORY  
Hacked into NASA but still looks 12: FUCK NO YOU RATT  
_Hacked into NASA but still looks 12 changed Super Sexy Space Man’s name to A fucking RATT  
Hacked into NASA but still looks 12 changed their name to The Ultimate Holt_  
The Ultimate Holt: I like the others we can keep those  
A fucking RATT: HA KNEW IT IM GOOD AT THIS  
An Actual Goddess (literally though I’m not kidding): DID I JUST GET FUCKING DEMOTED  
A fucking RATT: WAIT NO IT'S A COMPLEMENT  
An Actual Goddess (literally though I'm not kidding): I STILL DON'T HAVE SPACE IN MY NAME YOU FUCKING DEMOTED ME RATT  
The Ultimate Holt: MATT YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN ALLRUA JUST FUCKING RAN PAST MY FRONT DOOR AND DOWN THE CORRIDOR SCREAMING  
The Ultimate Holt: SHE’S FUCKING PISSED  
A fucking RATT: OH SHIT FUCCK NO IM NOT PREPARED  
A fucking RATT: CHANGE HER NAME NOW JESUS FUCK  
_The Ultimate Holt changed An Actual Goddess (literally though I’m not kidding)’s name to Space Vodka Aunt_  
The Ultimate Holt: THERE ITS CHANGED YOURE FUCKING WELCOME

 **2:56am  
The Ultimate Holt>Space Family**  
The Ultimate Holt: yo ratt you dead?  
LanceyLance: oh shit I heard ‘lura before fucking screaming about disrespect like fucking a floor below and I zoomed matt is definitely dead  
Space Cinnamon Roll: do you think someone should go check on him?  
The Ultimate Holt: dibs not  
LanceyLance: dibs not  
Space Cinnamon Roll: awh come on you shits  
LanceyLance: OH MY GOD DADDDD HUNK SAID A BAD WORD  
LanceyLance: wait why the fuck is dad a space dad at 7?  
Space Cinnamon Roll: I actually don’t know?  
LanceyLance: I just asked Keith but he wont stop fUCKING LAUGHING AT ME  
LanceyLance: WHAT’S SO FUNNY KNIFE KINK  
Kogayne: holy fuck you guys don’t know  
Kogayne: OH MY GOD HOW HAS SHITO NOT TOLD YOU  
Space Dad at 7: KEITH DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE  
Kogayne: HE WAS BORN ON FEBUARAY 29TH SO HE’S ACTUALLY 7  
LanceyLance: WAIT DAD YOU SAID YOU WERE BORN FEBUARAY 28TH WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN  
LanceyLance: WAIT NO DOES THAT MEAN YOURE THE CHILD  
LanceyLance: CAN I CALL YOU SPORT AND CHAMP AND STUFF NOW  
Space Dad at 7: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE  
LanceyLance: uh no children aren’t allowed to swear  
Space Dad at 7: fuck you guys  
Space Dad: also dibs not checking on matt  
Space Cinnamon Roll: FUCK

Hunk trudged down the stairs to Matt’s apartment, not looking forward to facing Allura’s wrath. She was a terrifying person. How the hell did he always end up the one who had to look after these children. This was supposed to be Shiro’s job, not his.  
Hunk knocked on the apartment door, and upon hearing a slurred “come in” he walked through the door. “Are you guys alive?”  
“Only on the outside!” Allura yelled.  
“Good enough, where are you guys?”  
“Kitchen.”  
He walked over towards the other side of the apartment where the small kitchenette lived. When he opened the door, he found Allura and Matt sitting on the floor eating instant ramen with a bottle of vodka between them.  
Matt grinned up at him, “Hey there gorgeous.” He slurred. “What brings such a pretty face here?”  
Hunk flushed red and huffed out a “for fucks sake” before pulling out his phone to text the group chat.

 **3:36am  
Space Cinnamon Roll > Space Family**  
Space Cinnamon Roll: found matt and allura but you guys really fucking owe me for this  
The Ultimate Holt: why is he ok?  
Space Cinnamon Roll: both of them are drunk out of their minds  
Space Cinnamon Roll: it seems allura is living up to her new name  
aDAMN: on a scale of sober to dead how drunk are they?  
Space Cinnamon Roll: idk like no filter but not quite passed out drunk  
Space Cinnamon Roll: like a 6?  
aDAMN: ha glad im not the one looking after them good fucking luck  
Space Cinnamon Roll: WAIT NO THAT’S NOT PART OF THE DEAL  
aDAMN: dibs not  
Space Cinnamon Roll: for fucks sake  
Space Cinnamon Roll: #betrayed

Hunk sighed and put his phone back into his pocket. “Okay you drunk children, no more vodka.”  
Allura snatched the bottle away from Hunk as he leant down to grab it. “This is my _child_. Let me live up to my legacy!”  
It was going to be a long night, so much for his 8am class. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the name changes im projecting as i get bored really easily and it ususaly ends up with me either dyeing my hair or changing my username. And i know theres like no plot and it all jumps around but i'll try and make it flow a bit better in the next few chapters so fuck yeahhhh. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are actually really nice so thanks for doing that guys  
> Also any feedback or tropes and situations you want me to implement just comment them and i'll try and make it happen because again, not much plot here so i'm up to add most stuff.


	6. Arrested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops sorry guys but arrested

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being away so long, school just seems to hate me and i didnt have much inspiration but im back!

**12:37pm  
A fucking RATT > Space Family**  
A fucking RATT: HNGnfd #neveragain  
aDAMN: I’m honestly offended I wasn't invited  
aDAMN: you both know I am always down to get level 6 drunk  
Space Cinnamon Roll: you can look after them next time, I missed all of my classes today  
Space Cinnamon Roll: speaking of, pidge I need your notes  
Space Gremlin: they’re already on your bed  
Space Cinnamon Roll: thank youuu  
Space Cinnamon Roll: also can we please demote everyone for the sake of my sanity trying to read through this goddamn chat  
Space Gremlin: no  
Space Cinnamon Roll: I’ll make a double batch of peanut butter cookies and you can have all of them  
 _Space Gremlin has made Space Cinnamon Roll an administrator_  
Space Gremlin: and you can’t tell me not to eat them all at once  
Space Cinnamon Roll: fine  
 _Space Cinnamon Roll changed Space Gremlin’s name to Gremlin  
Space Cinnamon Roll changed A fucking RATT’s name to Ratthew  
Space Cinnamon Roll changed Space Vodka Aunt’s name to Queen  
Space Cinnamon Roll changed their name to Hunkydory_  
Hunkydory: there  
Gremlin: ok I can’t complain  
Gremlin: how come you didn’t change dad’s name though  
Hunkydory: I kind of like the ring to it tbh  
Gremlin: fair  
Hunkydory: also do y’all mind if I add Shay to the chat  
Gremlin: DO IT PLEASE I WANT TO SEE HER BULLY KEITH  
 _Hunkydory added Geosaurus to the chat_  
Gremlin: geosaurus?   
Geosaurus: like geology and dinosaurs cause dinosaurs are basically big rocks  
Gremlin: excuse me what  
Geosaurus: it’s the default since I was 8 lmao  
 _Geosaurus changed their name to Shaysaurus_  
Shaysaurus: now where’s my favourite knife boi  
Kogayne: rUDE  
Gremlin: AND HE SURFACES GUYS GALS AND NON BINARY PALS, IT’S KNIFE KINK  
Kogayne: I DON’T HAVE A KINIFE KINK  
Gremlin: kinife  
Hunkydory: kinife  
LanceyLance: kinife  
aDAMN: kinife  
Shaysaurus: kinife  
Kogayne: STOP  
Ratthew: kinife  
Queen: kinife   
Space Dad at 7: kinife  
Kogayne: I will get my fucking “kinife” and throw it at the first one of you I see  
LanceyLance: well you have practice at that don’t you ;)  
Kogayne: that’s it  
LanceyLance: haha keith?  
LanceyLance: what does that mean?  
LanceyLance: keitHFDSV   
Gremlin: oh he dead dead

**4:45pm  
Queen > Space Family**  
Queen: did you guys wanna get fast food or something tonight, we haven’t done much as a whole group recently  
LanceyLance: oh I’m so down  
LanceyLance: we should probably get it to takeaway and eat at the park though   
LanceyLance: …seeing as keith and I got banned from mcdonalds for a while  
Space Dad at 7: what.   
LanceyLance: ahahhaha funny story actually keith why don’t you tell them  
Kogayne: hahha nope bye  
 _Kogayne left the chat_  
LanceyLance: KEiTH  
 _LanceyLance added to Kogayne to the chat_  
LanceyLance: DON’T LEAVE ME   
Kogayne: I’m not telling them  
Kogayne: you can thanks  
Gremlin: oh lmao I know this   
Gremlin: I was smart enough to not get banned though  
LanceyLance: YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM AND LEFT US WITH EVERYTHING OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T GET BANNED  
Kogayne: YEAH AND IT WAS MOSTLY YOUR FAULT  
Gremlin: OH ARE WE PLAYING THE BLAME GAME NOW  
Gremlin: JUST REMEMBER MY BLACKMAIL FOLDER IS IMMENSE  
LanceyLance: hahhaahah pidge had nothing to do with this  
Kogayne: yep she was completely innocent   
Space Dad at 7: nevermind I don’t want to know  
Queen: so meet at 6?  
Gremlin: sounds good to me :)

**6:15pm  
Queen > Space Family**  
Queen: alright where the fuck is everyone  
aDAMN: I’m literally next to you  
Queen: haha funny I didn’t mean you  
aDAMN: :(  
Queen: <3  
aDAMN: <3  
Queen: ok but seriously adam is the only one here  
Gremlin: look up  
Queen: what.  
Gremlin: the tree  
Queen: ok so pidge and matt are here but that doesn’t explain where everyone else is  
LanceyLance: IM RUNNING  
LanceyLance: FROM/WITH KEITH  
Kogayne: FUCKE FJWYOU LANCEF  
LanceyLance: HE’S PISSED EHGKEJHFSK  
LanceyLance: TELL MAMA I LOVE HER  
Queen: you know what  
Queen: im just going to ignore that  
Queen: anyone else  
Shaysaurus: my class ran late, I’m heading over now  
Shaysaurus: should be like 10 mins  
Queen: understandable you are forgiven  
Shaysaurus: :D  
Queen: where’s dad and hunk though aren’t they the responsible ones  
Hunkydory: lmao   
Hunkydory: whoops  
Hunkydory: we kinda got arrested  
Queen: EXCUSE ME WHAT  
Hunkydory: there was a robbery at the store we were at and the cops thought we were the robbers  
Hunkydory: shiro’s trying to sort it out  
Hunkydory: turns out his dad is a cop so we should be out soon  
LanceyLance: oh my god are you ok  
Hunkydory: yeah a little shaken up but I’m fine  
Hunkydory: shiros so mad though  
Hunkydory: he’s yelling at the cops who arrested us right now  
Queen: jesus christ  
Queen: we’re coming to get you  
Queen: which station are you at?  
Hunkydory: the galra one  
Queen: on our way

**8:59pm  
LanceyLance > Space Family**  
LanceyLance: ok wow that was terrifying  
LanceyLance: remind me to never make shiro and allura mad  
LanceyLance: that was some insane tag teaming  
Kogayne: I still can’t believe they paid you guys money  
Kogayne: that station is corrupt as fuck  
Hunkydory: maybe I should get arrested more often  
Hunkydory: I literally have enough money for 2 months of rent from that  
Space Dad at 7: no one messes with my children  
Queen: seconded  
aDAMN: in all seriousness, are you guys ok?  
Space Dad at 7: I’m still so mad  
Space Dad at 7: I want to punch everything  
aDAMN: where are you?  
Space Dad at 7: my apartment, why??  
aDAMN: I’m coming  
Space Dad at 7: thank you  
Queen: is hunk ok?  
LanceyLance: we’re with hunk at the moment and he’s still pretty shaky  
Gremlin: it’s this giant cuddle pile at the moment  
Gremlin: as soon as we got back he just grabbed onto us and hasn’t let go  
Kogayne: we’ll probably stay the night here and get some blankets and shit  
Queen: do you want me?  
LanceyLance: sure come over  
LanceyLance: also bring some more pillows and blankets and stuff  
aDAMN: shiro and I will be like an hour, maybe more  
Kogayne: is he ok?  
aDAMN: he’s very riled up   
aDAMN: I’m just trying to get him to calm down  
Kogayne: there’s some tea and black licorice in the cupboard   
aDAMN: licorice?   
Kogayne: comfort food  
Kogayne: reminds him of home  
aDAMN: thanks

**10:56am  
Hunkydory > Space Family**  
Hunkydory: thanks guys  
Space Dad at 7: yeah, thank you so much  
Queen: anytime  
Ratthew: we’re happy to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't mean to angst that up lmao I was literally just going to write about them messing aorund in the park and then that happend.

**Author's Note:**

> weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pidgeons shouldn't be allowed to have fries
> 
> comments and kudos are greatly appreciated


End file.
